The locals' guide to...Menorca
Menorca's no beer-soaked stag party magnet where every second person is in need of a stomach pump. It's the beaches and historical towns that make this place tick... And for more information you can purchase a Lonely Planet Spain guide.

How do I get away from large tour groups wearing matching caps?
Mallorca and Ibiza tend to distract most of the holidaying hordes but a few still slip the net and make a break for Menorca. Thankfully it's not enough to turn all the beaches into a seething mass of slowly roasting humanity. The main resorts, such as Punta Prima, Cala en Porter and Santa Thomas, are on the south coast and house the 5 star and 4 star hotels in Menorca. But leave these in your wake by hiring a car and going in search of one of the island's many secluded coves, such as Cala Macarella, or head to the ancient town of Son Catlar in the east, where you'll find megalithic stone monuments. Scare off other tourists by indulging in your favourite pagan ritual - a human sacrifice normally does the trick.
Where do the locals party?
Unlike its Balearic siblings you won't find too many foam parties on Menorca - soap suds generally stay in the sink. Late nights here are more sedate and often involve the consumption of unhealthy amounts of Menorcan gin, distilled from junipers grown on the island. Sink a couple at Bar Akelarre on the harbourside in the capital Mahón, accompanied by live jazz. There are few clubs on the island but one of the best is Cova d'en Xoroi built into the side of a cliff, giving you a fine opportunity to be a cheesy caver for the night.
Restaurants without an 'all-you-can-eat tourist buffet'?
Follow the road north. Most tourists on their cheap Menorca holidays tend to huddle together in the south - for body warmth or protection perhaps. Fornells, an ancient fishing village on the north coast, is famed for its seafood restaurants. Es Pla overlooks the harbour and is reputedly a favourite of King Juan Carlos I. For those with less regal tastes and wallets Pa amb Oli in the alluring city of Ciutadella, once the Moorish capital, serves up hearty Menorcan dishes.
A quick guide to where the locals hang out
The beach: Being an island, and not a very big one, Menorca has mastered the art of beaches. Algaiarens on the north coast is a particularly fine example.
The breakfast: Fill up for a day of sightseeing in Mahón on American Bar's terrace.
The trip: Visit the prehistoric town of Trepulco to the south of Mahón if archaeology boils your kettle.
The cocktail : Slurp down a few Pomadas, a mix of Menorcan gin and lemonade, in the bars around Ciutadella's harbour to get a true flavour of the island.
The view: There's a great view of the island from the top of Mount Toro, though the climb isn't advised in the midday sun.
The museum: Get the lowdown on the island's back story at the Meseu de Menorca.
The spa: Hotel La Quinta Spa in Ciutadella offers a wide range of treatments.
The place to be seen: Restaurant Ca n'Olga in Es Mercadal serves good food and attracts a sophisticated crowd.
Why not try? Menorca island tour
Details:
Bar Akelarre, Moll de Ponent 41, Mahón, +34 971 368520; Cova d'en Xoroi, Cala en Porter, +34 971 377236, www.covadenxoroi.com; Es Pla, Fornells, +34 971 376655; Pa amb Oli, Ciutadella, +34 971 383619; American Bar, Plaça Reial 8, Mahón, +34 971 361822; Meseu de Menorca, Doctor Guàrdia s/n, Mahón, +34 971 350955; La Quinta Resort Hotel and Spa, Gran Via Son Xoriguer, Ciutadella, +34 971 05000, www.salgarhotels.com; Ca n'Olga, Pont Na Macarrana, Es Mercadal, +34 971 375459; Hotel Princesa Playa, Gran Via Son Xoriguer 17, Ciutadella;
Can I drink the water?
The eight essential questions you'll need answering
Which local animal is likely to hospitalise me?
Menorcans love their horses so try not to get in their way if you stumble onto the Camí de Cavalls, a horse-riding pathway around the island.
Which native liquor will make me think I am attractive?
Gin, not the London type, but the stuff distilled on the island from juniper grapes.
How can I avoid a beating by the local hard nuts?
It's the horses again. The locals are fiercely proud of the pure Menorcan breed. Don't say, “Do you do rides on that donkey?”
Will I get lost?
You might in one of the many caves which pepper the Menorcan coastline - if you want to explore them check when the tide comes in.
Will I find myself?
The whole island is a UNESCO designated biosphere reserve, which means there are plenty of tranquil spots for some personal ponderings on your Menorca break.
Should I take an umbrella?
In summer you need nothing but a tight pair of trunks and suntan lotion. But from October to May some kind of waterproofing could come in handy.
What should I order in a restaurant to impress the locals?
Eat Caldereta de Llagosta, a lobster stew, and the local fishermen will adopt you as one of their own.
Can I drink the water?
Yes, and drink lots of it.

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